A Tough Nut To Crack
by PerfectCell
Summary: Being in a relationship with Spencer Reid is probably the most difficult thing she's ever tried to do. Reid/OC.


My nearly 6 month relationship with Spencer Reid has been one of, if not the most unique period of my life. Not even our first time meeting was what would be considered ordinary, considering he was practically forced(which was quite humorous, by the way) over to my table inside of Ruby's Cafe by the person I know now as Penelope(as she noticed him staring at me when they walked in). He was obviously flustered when first talking to me, but eventually managed to tell me his name. I would be lying if I said I had any attraction to Spencer when I first met him, and I really only invited him to sit across from me as to not embarrass him in front of his friends.

However, as we talked(granted, it was mostly me talking and him stuttering out random facts), I became slightly more interested in him, and eventually agreed to seeing him again sometime. That sometime has turned in to, as previously stated, a relationship that is nearing 6 months..but it's certainly not what you would consider a regular relationship. Come to find out, he worked for the FBI's behavioral analysis unit, which is the first point of what makes our relationship different from a lot of others.

I go without seeing him for sometimes a week, maybe even two, and it's not uncommon for him to only get a day or two off in between his cases. It's something I'm certainly not fond of, but I've put up with it okay so far. We've had to cancel several dates due to it, but I knew me getting upset over it really wouldn't change anything, nor was it fair to him. He let me know fairly early on in our relationship that this would happen, and let me know he would understand if I didn't want to be with him due to it.

That, although enough to end most relationships, hasn't been the most difficult part of this relationship for me. What's caused me to frequently question it has been his inability to open up to me, emotionally and physically. I know little to nothing about his past. He's told me about his mother, but that's just about the extent of his past that I know about. Nothing about his father and very little of his childhood(only that, given he was a genius, he graduated high school very early). It even took him til we had been dating for four months to introduce me to his team/friends. I'd never been in a very long relationship, but I always thought couples told each other they loved each other at this point.

On top of that, the only thing physical he initiates with me is kissing me on the cheek and a very quick hug. Any kiss on the lips or any physical contact that lasts longer than a couple of seconds has been started by me. I've heard of taking it slow before, but I found this to be a little ridiculous. I'm a person who loves to cuddle, and I'm not sure what he'd do if I tried to do that, so I just settle for resting my head on his shoulder while watching TV.

As our relationship has gone on longer, I've slowly started growing serious feelings for him. I sometimes wonder how, or even why, given how reluctant he is to actually open to me, but I guess you can't help what you feel. I'm 27 years old, soon to turn 28, and I feel like I'm getting to the point in my life where I do want to settle down, and I think I want Spencer to be the one I settle down with, the only real issue with that is telling him.

I spoke to Derek Morgan, as given Spencer considers him his best friend, I assumed he would have the best advice in regards to him. I told him how I felt about Spencer, and how I was unsure if Spencer felt the same. He didn't really give me a yes or no answer, instead telling me that Spencer has been through a lot in his life. When asking him to go in to some more detail, he simply told me that was up to Spencer to decide if he wanted to open up.

That really didn't do a whole lot to help my fears, if anything, it made them worse, but I decided I was going to let Spencer know what I felt, for better or for worse.

When Spencer got back home from his latest case, I baked him some chocolate chip cookies and picked up some Indian takeout food on the way to his house. I considered inviting him over to my place instead, so if things went wrong/he didn't return my feelings, I didn't have to drive anywhere while I was upset, but I knew he liked to unwind at his apartment when he first got back from a case. When he let me in, it was apparent he was pretty tired(although slightly excited for the cookies), and I wondered if it was really the right time to be telling him what I was going to, but I felt if I didn't do it now, I'd never have the courage again.

After eating, we sat on the couch and he turned on the TV, beginning to flip through the channels for something to watch. I grabbed his left hand and gave it a slight squeeze, bringing his attention to me. I felt now was as good as a time as any, and went for it. I told him, and I quote, "Spencer, I've been trying to figure out how to say this, but I couldn't really figure out any method that I was happy with..so I'll just be blunt. I don't know how you really feel about me, but I've developed some very serious feelings for you. I've never been in love before, so I don't know how it's supposed to feel, but I'm pretty sure this is it...and that scares me, because you've never opened up to me about much of anything, and you seem just as afraid of physical contact with me as you do sharing your emotions."

I paused for just a moment to gauge his reaction, his face showed a mix of concern and sadness. It put me off slightly, but I continued anyway.."I want someone in my life who trusts me and loves me, and I want that person to be you. Derek told me that you'd be through a lot in life, and while he didn't go in to detail, I understand if you're not wanting this to become anything more serious, all I want you to do is tell me. I don't think we need to go any further with this relationship if we're not wanting the same thing."

If it wasn't for the TV, the room would have been pretty much dead silent. I don't even think I could hear him breathing. We just sat there staring at each other. I don't know how exactly long that went on, but I felt the silence gave me my answer. I let go of his hand that I had been holding the entire time and I moved to get up from the couch when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned back to him and he pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned in to his body and heard him whisper in my ear.."I love you too". I smiled as we moved to lie down together on the couch, him still holding me. I knew it would probably take some "work" to get him to continue to open up, but I was happy with this as a start.

**A/N – First ever attempt at any form of "romance" and first ever CM story. We know that Spencer doesn't let many people get close to him in the show, but I feel that would only be amplified in regards to a relationship due to the death of Maeve..but who knows, maybe I overdid it a bit. I mainly just wrote this out of boredom as it's 4am anyway, so I'm not expecting it to be anything close to great :P**


End file.
